Crooked Ninja rants about the new TMNT movie..

For a property aimed at kids these turtles are scary as hell. They literally look like roughed up Hulks shoved into battle damaged turtle shells. Their Shrek faces make no attempt at appealing to anyone which may or may not be caused by the absurd amount of growth hormone (mutagen) running through them.

Mikey: Trying way too hard to be funny. Uncomfortably horny.

Donny: Cliche geek. Oddly frog like. Needs glasses because turtles have nearsightedness.

Leo: Bland. Absolutely devoid of character. Has swords!!

Raph: Roid rage mixed with bouts of crying. Can throw shipping containers.

These versions of the turtles are like bad caricatures of what the turtles should be. They strip them down to the most simple form then add a bunch of garbage to them for appeal. Oh look Raph has some sick Ray Bans! You can’t just have them yell “Cowabunga” in the end for a cheap pop. Try harder.

I have to give him credit. He has always kept a open mind going into this movie and I was hating on it from the second I heard Bay was in charge. So its what we thought it was going to be.. A piece of shit Turtle movie that will hang with Turtles 3 as the worst of the bunch.

Crooked also shares about what looks to be a pretty awesome Turtle Doc.
It was released Aug 12th and I hope to watch it very soon. Maybe I will post my thoughts on it after viewing it. Pretty excited to see it.

Branded got his hands on the 30th Anniversary Ghostbusters record. Man I wish I would have picked this up.

 typically not an avid collector of albums on vinyl since I don’t own a turntable and have pretty much all my favorite music at my fingertips digitally, but the allure of a glow in the dark Ghostbusters album that would look pretty darn rad up on the wall of Branded HQ was a bit too much for me to pass up!

The record looks great and I am pretty bummed I didn't get my hands on one.

Dinosaur Dracula got their hands on a 1986 Toys R us ad. Pretty great stuff.

If you’re my age, these were your first iPads. Speak & Spell, Speak & Read and Speak & Math were battery-operated handhelds that taught kids spelling, reading and, uh, mathing. I haven’t played with them in decades, but I can still remember their crude sound effects and weird robot voices.

I always wanted one soooo bad but my parents didn't care about helping me become a better student. I guess they knew I was a Dyslexic and had no hope anyway.

Top Hat Sasquatch Reviews TMN..errrrr Guardians of the Galaxy.

The opinions I’ve read from the people I trust basically let me know that the movie is terrible, and honestly all the people I’ve had telling me it’s good have had to preface their recommendations with things like “If you don’t think about it…” or “It’s just the Turtles…” which is bullshit to me.

We think a like. Unless my son forces me to watch it down the line. I doubt I see this. I just can't.

 I could ramble for days about how much I love this movie, but the bottom line is that everything about this movie is well done. It’s written well, the direction, cinematography, and visual effects are all to notch, and the characters are great. Chris Pratt is perfect as Star-Lord and this movie will be seen as a defining moment in his career.

I pretty much agree with everything here. The movie was amazing and this movie will basically launch Chris Pratt into outer space.

Mike and James review the new TMNT. Same result... Not good. Mattel doing more Ghostbuster figures. They have done such a poor job with this line. I hope Neca gets the licence back. We will see. 38 bucks gets you the best Rom NES controller I've seen yet. MUST HAVE ONE!!!

movies,tmnt, ghostbusters, nes, cartoons, doc